Red and the Pig
Saturday November 5th 2011.
The early evening at Kemnay was clear, still and cold. A celebratory bonfire had been lit and it provided its own sparky display. We watched glowing rosy curls shoot up, then float down to the frosty ground. A simply made effigy stood nearby. String-tied, stuffed pillow-case, old skirt and red nylon vampire cloak, supported on tripod legs. A discarded wire pig framework stuffed with beech leaves stood alongside. We sat with our cups of red wine, enjoying the flames and friendship. Turning, we saw in the firelight, the figures looked almost real. ‘They could be the beginning of a story’ said her husband…. ‘call yourselves writers?’
Alright then, lets try and invent a story.. shall we call it ‘Red Riding Cloak and the pig’ and see if a fairytale emerges in the gloaming.....
Once upon a time... (a good beginning. )… a young girl called Red Riding Cloak lived by the Don river on a silvery bend above Kemnay. She lived with her Uncle, kept doves, and had a pet pig for company. She loved the water and the trees. Her Uncle was an astronomer who worked in a turret at the house. He stared at the sky because he thought someone had to keep the stars up. He was sure an asteroid was going to crash into the earth. Red told him there was ‘Nothing to be frightened of,’ but he couldn’t help it. He watched and worried, worried and watched. He left her to do all the housework and keep the garden because he was so busy watching and worrying. Red Riding Cloak enjoyed her life, working and gardening, wandering the woods gathering the nuts and fruits, and looking after her plants and animals. She swam in the river or admired the trees and beehives, from a quiet dark pool. Sometimes she felt as if she was part river, part tree, part girl.
Autumn was especially lovely when the Larchs were lit by low sun, and the Beech trees turned orangey gold. Early one frosty morning on November the 6th 2011 when she went out to scatter grain for the doves, she could see the world was completely beautiful, frost white, sky blue, tree gold. The only sounds were the tiny noises of leaves dropping…. bink tink… bink dink ….bink tink. When she went back inside to tell him…. Riding Cloak’s uncle didn’t listen, and said: ‘Go and find more nuts, crab apples and wild garlic to make a tasty stuffing, I am hungry’. Red Riding Cloak could see he was looking at her pig and the knife drawer, when he said that, and she was afraid… She took up her basket and her red cloak and whispered to the pig, (who was looking as worried as a pig can)… ‘Chin up chum, you are not going to be chops with chips …lets skedaddle! She ran down to the river and along the bank. She started to cross over on the icy stepping-stones. But oh no, she slipped! Dropped her basket and fell ker-splash into the deep River. She tried to swim against the strong current but her clothes were pulling her down. Just as she began to make headway and was nearly over to the bank …. Oh no again! Her red cloak snagged on a low branch and she was entangled, caught up, she was stuck, out of luck. Oh drat and botheration, she thought, this is it…. it’s curtains for Riding Cloak!
The pig, had been following Red along the bank, probably hoping for more nuts, and it saw her fall. It waded into the water towards her and snuffled at her hand. Seeing she had no tit-bits, it turned away and she was able to grab the curly tail. ‘Ouch’ it oinked and tried to swim away as fast as it could, inadvertantly pulling Red clear of the branch, leaving her cloak behind. PHEW! Thank goodness …she was saved… End of story .. back to the house for eiderdowns and a hot drink.
….But no ….its not over yet for Red. Before you could say Mochachino with Marshmallows…. Pig and girl are swept off down the rapids, tumbling and tossing, around the corner, under the Shakkin Briggie and awaaay out of sight….…Oh dear..O dear … Red’s world has gone all pear-shaped…..
…..A day or two goes past. Her uncle, still hoping for a roast dinner, comes down to the river searching for his niece. All he finds is the basket upturned by the stepping stone, and her wet red cloak tangled on a low branch in the river. He realises she has gone, gone forever, and he is very sad. He will have to do his own housework, and spend less time worrying about the stars. Strangely on that very day November the 8th 201l an asteroid did approach the earth and passed inside the moons orbit very near, but he missed seeing it, because he was looking down the river, wishing he had been nicer to his niece… Perhaps then he realised he needed a retrospectivescope as well as a telescope…but too late.
a sad ending for everyone…
But ….. what if …..the pig were a good swimmer, and Red Riding Cloak managed to grab onto its ears, lie along it’s back and float down the river avoiding all the sharp rocks and the tree trunks? Of course it would have been cold, very cold, but pigs are warm creatures. especially if they have been well fed on nuts. They are very good at floating too, and Red would have enjoyed every moment of the exhilarating river journey down to Inverurie holding on tightly to those big flat, hairy ears..
And that’s what happened.
When they got out at Port Elphinstone, Red hugged the pig and thanked him.. and that warmed them both up. She then rode the pig into the town. The friendly people of Inverurie were tickled pink to see a girl riding a pig, with white birds flying overhead.
Did we forget to mention that the doves had seen the ker-fuffle upriver and had tracked them all the way down?
Red and the pig were taken to the people’s hearts and well looked after. Red Riding cloak was given a warm green cloak to replace the one she had lost. She lived there happily ever after.
Back in Kemnay every autumn, you can see glimpses of her scarlet cloak hanging from trees or floating down the river Don, and there is still a tower, where a lonely man stares up at the stars watching for asteroids that might collide with Earth..
P.S. Of course if Red had only kissed the pig instead of thanking him politely, he would have turned into a handsome prince, but Red was wise to that one, and much preferred to be followed around by a pig.
The fire having died down, we carried the scrappy red cloaked effigy and leaf filled pig shape, and placed them in the embers. The nylon fabric melted, flared up and the figure toppled, merging with the other firey remants. The pig’s leaves burned and we sniffed the fragrant sweet smoke.. “Nice bonfire night” we said.
The early evening at Kemnay was clear, still and cold. A celebratory bonfire had been lit and it provided its own sparky display. We watched glowing rosy curls shoot up, then float down to the frosty ground. A simply made effigy stood nearby. String-tied, stuffed pillow-case, old skirt and red nylon vampire cloak, supported on tripod legs. A discarded wire pig framework stuffed with beech leaves stood alongside. We sat with our cups of red wine, enjoying the flames and friendship. Turning, we saw in the firelight, the figures looked almost real. ‘They could be the beginning of a story’ said her husband…. ‘call yourselves writers?’
Alright then, lets try and invent a story.. shall we call it ‘Red Riding Cloak and the pig’ and see if a fairytale emerges in the gloaming.....
Once upon a time... (a good beginning. )… a young girl called Red Riding Cloak lived by the Don river on a silvery bend above Kemnay. She lived with her Uncle, kept doves, and had a pet pig for company. She loved the water and the trees. Her Uncle was an astronomer who worked in a turret at the house. He stared at the sky because he thought someone had to keep the stars up. He was sure an asteroid was going to crash into the earth. Red told him there was ‘Nothing to be frightened of,’ but he couldn’t help it. He watched and worried, worried and watched. He left her to do all the housework and keep the garden because he was so busy watching and worrying. Red Riding Cloak enjoyed her life, working and gardening, wandering the woods gathering the nuts and fruits, and looking after her plants and animals. She swam in the river or admired the trees and beehives, from a quiet dark pool. Sometimes she felt as if she was part river, part tree, part girl.
Autumn was especially lovely when the Larchs were lit by low sun, and the Beech trees turned orangey gold. Early one frosty morning on November the 6th 2011 when she went out to scatter grain for the doves, she could see the world was completely beautiful, frost white, sky blue, tree gold. The only sounds were the tiny noises of leaves dropping…. bink tink… bink dink ….bink tink. When she went back inside to tell him…. Riding Cloak’s uncle didn’t listen, and said: ‘Go and find more nuts, crab apples and wild garlic to make a tasty stuffing, I am hungry’. Red Riding Cloak could see he was looking at her pig and the knife drawer, when he said that, and she was afraid… She took up her basket and her red cloak and whispered to the pig, (who was looking as worried as a pig can)… ‘Chin up chum, you are not going to be chops with chips …lets skedaddle! She ran down to the river and along the bank. She started to cross over on the icy stepping-stones. But oh no, she slipped! Dropped her basket and fell ker-splash into the deep River. She tried to swim against the strong current but her clothes were pulling her down. Just as she began to make headway and was nearly over to the bank …. Oh no again! Her red cloak snagged on a low branch and she was entangled, caught up, she was stuck, out of luck. Oh drat and botheration, she thought, this is it…. it’s curtains for Riding Cloak!
The pig, had been following Red along the bank, probably hoping for more nuts, and it saw her fall. It waded into the water towards her and snuffled at her hand. Seeing she had no tit-bits, it turned away and she was able to grab the curly tail. ‘Ouch’ it oinked and tried to swim away as fast as it could, inadvertantly pulling Red clear of the branch, leaving her cloak behind. PHEW! Thank goodness …she was saved… End of story .. back to the house for eiderdowns and a hot drink.
….But no ….its not over yet for Red. Before you could say Mochachino with Marshmallows…. Pig and girl are swept off down the rapids, tumbling and tossing, around the corner, under the Shakkin Briggie and awaaay out of sight….…Oh dear..O dear … Red’s world has gone all pear-shaped…..
…..A day or two goes past. Her uncle, still hoping for a roast dinner, comes down to the river searching for his niece. All he finds is the basket upturned by the stepping stone, and her wet red cloak tangled on a low branch in the river. He realises she has gone, gone forever, and he is very sad. He will have to do his own housework, and spend less time worrying about the stars. Strangely on that very day November the 8th 201l an asteroid did approach the earth and passed inside the moons orbit very near, but he missed seeing it, because he was looking down the river, wishing he had been nicer to his niece… Perhaps then he realised he needed a retrospectivescope as well as a telescope…but too late.
a sad ending for everyone…
But ….. what if …..the pig were a good swimmer, and Red Riding Cloak managed to grab onto its ears, lie along it’s back and float down the river avoiding all the sharp rocks and the tree trunks? Of course it would have been cold, very cold, but pigs are warm creatures. especially if they have been well fed on nuts. They are very good at floating too, and Red would have enjoyed every moment of the exhilarating river journey down to Inverurie holding on tightly to those big flat, hairy ears..
And that’s what happened.
When they got out at Port Elphinstone, Red hugged the pig and thanked him.. and that warmed them both up. She then rode the pig into the town. The friendly people of Inverurie were tickled pink to see a girl riding a pig, with white birds flying overhead.
Did we forget to mention that the doves had seen the ker-fuffle upriver and had tracked them all the way down?
Red and the pig were taken to the people’s hearts and well looked after. Red Riding cloak was given a warm green cloak to replace the one she had lost. She lived there happily ever after.
Back in Kemnay every autumn, you can see glimpses of her scarlet cloak hanging from trees or floating down the river Don, and there is still a tower, where a lonely man stares up at the stars watching for asteroids that might collide with Earth..
P.S. Of course if Red had only kissed the pig instead of thanking him politely, he would have turned into a handsome prince, but Red was wise to that one, and much preferred to be followed around by a pig.
The fire having died down, we carried the scrappy red cloaked effigy and leaf filled pig shape, and placed them in the embers. The nylon fabric melted, flared up and the figure toppled, merging with the other firey remants. The pig’s leaves burned and we sniffed the fragrant sweet smoke.. “Nice bonfire night” we said.
